Time speeds up in 2010

I cant believe three weeks has passed since my last post. A lot has happened in such a short time. More on that later. I have been in China almost half a year and I thought I had seen pretty much every cultural oddity Beijing has to offer, but I was wrong. Last week, I saw split pants. Split pants you say, what are they. China's answer to the diaper. Toddlers who are not potty trained where paints that are split down the middle, so whenever they have to go, they squat and out comes their business. I saw this outside the train station as a little boy just stopped over a rain gutter and relieved himself. At first, I thought he was wetting his pants, but upon further inspection (No, I didn't get closer) I realized he had a split down his pants. If the culture you live in is okay with child public urination, they I must say the split pants are a nifty idea, but I doubt they'll make it big in the U.S. Something about stuffy old fogies not wanting to step in kid pee every three meters.

The main reason for my delay in posting has been my work schedule. For the month of January, we have moved to 6 day work weeks. It is exhausting. The one day off a week, (Lovingly called my weekend. Bullshit! A weekend is two days!) really only allows you a short breather before you enter back into the frenzy of four year olds. The reason we moved to 6 day work weeks for this month is so that next month we get two weeks vacation instead of one. With all the increased work time, I've also had more to do at work, with my promotion to head of foreign teacher hiring and training. Also, we are finishing up our R&D work so it's crunch time. Also, I am moving to the new center on the West Side of the city. It is located in the Jin Yuan Mall, the world's largest mall. I can't even begin to explain how big it is. On to what I've learned.

1)

2) Moving makes half the people happy and half the people mad. I need to look into cloning.

3) Lily doesn't use the word 大 in her Diary.

4) Non-standardized fingerings for numbers can be inadvertently hilarious.

The last one is a reference to three different kids. I have seen a kid hold up one finger and it was the middle, two fingers and it was the British up yours and three fingers and it was the shocker. So kids think they are doing a great job and I am laughing my ass of in the corner. So kids don't learn the bad things from TV, Video games, or the Internet, they learn them from school. So the lesson is, no more school!

2010 just isn't symmetric enough for me

I'm actually gonna take this space this time to do some reflecting, as it seems like as good a time as any. I was thinking the other day, looking back, it can really be said that the 2000s, the Aughts, the double zeros, or whatever other hokey name we come up with for this decade can really be called the formative decade of my life. I went from the age of 14 to 24. That's scary to think about. I know I have a lot more life in front of me and a lot more things to do, but it's weird to think of the decade like this. (These are broken into school years because that's how I live my life, August to August, not January to January like you Julius Caesar Lovers)
2000-1, Sophomore in higschool, at Tabor, the place I wanted to attend since I was in 2nd Grade.
2001-2, Junior Year, started the year off on the first day with the Twin Tower attacks, eerie that this was 9 years ago.
2002-3, Senior year, Debate League Champions, Baseball coach, Graduation in the rain, Senior week-first beer.
2003-4, College, Freshman Year, moved to a new state, lived on my own, met my best friend, this year is still the most jammed pack year of memories to date, I could talk for hours about these twelve months.
2004-5, Sophomore Year, First Kiss, first real girl fiasco, Improv started, Worst Room EVER in Lamppost.
2005-6, Junior Year, Carlise House, First Love, First F(Unfortunately not my last), acted in a College Play.
2006-7, Senior Year, Carlise House 2.0, Mormon Missionaries, DnD, Improv/Theatre DRAMA HOUSE!!!, Post IT Door.
2007-8, Senior Year 2.0, Broken Heart, rebounded too fast, New Years Eve Fiasco, World record Improv Show, got my second best friends.
2008-9, Senior Year 2.5, Got my own place(sorta), Ruby's Crew officially becomes second family, Graduated College, Moved to CHINA!!!!

And that is where we are. Alot has happened and I can only hope that just as much happens from now til 2020, as long as we make it over that 2012 bump.

Onto work, David, our new employee from the US arrived this week, and I am in charge of training him. I told him not to screw up because I want to be in charge of all training someday soon. What's better than teaching? Teaching teachers to teach. Only thing after that is teaching teachers to teach teachers how to teach! Anyways, back to the school, everything is going well, hiccups every so often but nothing my even temper and ability to let things slide can't deal with. As for what I've learned this week, I thought I would open it up to the whole decade and look back at the four most important things I've learned from the decade.

1) Make decisions you can live with, let everyone else deal with their own emotions on the matter.
2) Have a Father for a mechanic, if your Father isn't a mechanic, it might be worth seeking out a replacement or at the very least someone who can fill in part time.
3) Always be able to be counted on, so when you need someone to count on, they will be there or at the very least you can guilt trip them into being there for you.
4) Love is never something you should do cautiously, but that doesn't mean that thinking shouldn't be involved.

As for the funny story, I'll leave you with my favorite story from the Aughts. It's a very simple story, with grand implication. First week of college, I get bold and adventurous, and find my self back in a girl's room. We are watching a movie(the title escapes me) and I look over and her roommate has a boy in her bed too. Our eyes meet (No homo) and we share a quick hey what's up. And that is how the story of Nick and Cory begins.

Happy 2010 Everyone!

Christmas comes early

Sorry for the delay in posts. It's been a very busy couple of weeks. Christmas in a foreign country is an interesting thing. Especially when that country doesn't share the historical or religious background of the holiday. Christmas in China is a purely economic adventure. They have taken the shopping aspect, already prized in this country and marketed across the land. At least in Beijing, Christmas is everywhere which is nice, but like most things, there is something lost in translation. China does not like religious worship by native Chinese citizens, yet the most popular song I have heard in the malls is Silent Night. I don't think they fully appreciate the song being about the birth of Christ. The other great mishap is the song "jingle bells" in which it has been translated to say ," riding in a one horse open sea." WHAT?! I have tried to figure out how that could make any sense, and trust me it doesn't. It doesn't even fit better lyrically with the song. It is, however, nice to see giant Christmas trees everywhere and hear carols, even when they are worded wrong.

At work, we had our Christmas party this week. Not just one, but two nights. Maybe it was a compromise for our Jewish teacher. I've spent much of the last two weeks organizing and decorating the party and all in all, it turned out quite well. I am beat though. On top of all this, I got to play Santa for the kids which was tons of fun. It was awesome to see all their happy faces when they got to take a picture with Santa. As a side note, all the pictures are on my facebook account. In more serious terms, I have been offered overtime for the next couple months at a reasonable salary so I might be working more, but it'll be good to save up for my trip in February. More on that later, for now it's on to what I've learned.

1) Kids surprisingly can't recognize you behind a fake beard.
2) A Christmas Story just doesn't exist in China, and this needs to be rectified.
3) No matter how much sugar you put in it, you can't sweeten unsweetened cocoa.
4) I now know why bored housewives love shopping.

No, I have not become someone's housewife, but the other day, I had some time to kill and went to the market to do some window shopping (a favored past time here). I was looking around at some shoes. I really liked this pair of boat shoes at one of the shops and started talking with the seller. She started with a price of 1350 yuan (~$200). I told her that what I thought they might be worth was too low to tell her and I didn't want to insult her, because I'm smooth like that. Instantly she dropped the price to 850 yuan (~$120). Again I tell her, I don't have much money and I don't need the shoes they are just nice and I was thinking of spoiling myself for Christmas. Here I am really laying it on thick. She finally gets me to tell her how much I'll pay. I tell her 250 yuan (~ $35). At first she says that's too low and can't do that. After some more sympathy talk from me, about how I am away from home for Christmas and blah blah blah, I got the shoes at 250 yuan, which I never thought she would agree to. Oh well, i got nice new shoes for Christmas. So remember, it's not bored housewives' fault, it's the prices are too low!

Can we do it? Yes we can!

I now know what it was like to live in the United States between the years 1865-1960. Roughly stated, those are the years the U.S. went from a rural agricultural country with an emerging industrial core, to the leading manufacturer and industry titan it was at the close of the 20th century. China is building. ALOT. From big projects to little ones, there is construction everywhere in China. There isn't the NIMBY philosophy that has stiffled many developed nations from expanding into the 21st century. Partly because people welcome growth and partly because the government says so, but that's another topic for another day. In Beijing alone over the next few years, plans are in the works to massively expand the subway lines that run throughout the city as well as work on creating a greener environment and for all the naysayers out there, I, for one, believe they can and will do it. I watched an entire store get built in a week. A WEEK! They gutted the old store, and redid the entire store in one week and it was up and running just fine. I've seen miles of trenches dug and filled in overnight. China not only has the manpower, but also the willpower to push ahead in the 21st century. They are experiencing two revolutions at once, the industrial and the computer and they are with the help of hindsight, better tools, more manpower, more central control and knocking the first one out the water. It's only a matter of time to see if they'll do the same with the second.

At work, we are in crunch time. A few more weeks and a lot of work to get done. If I am good at anything it is pulling a rabbit out of my hat in crunch time, even if it costs a few late nights. Other than that, our big bosses laid out the company's five year plan and if we want to, we will figure very prominently into it. Which leads me to what I've learned,
1) My bosses have a great sense of humor when they fake fired me twice in one meeting.
2) Brian needs to work on his code names
3) Kids love ice, way more than they should. It's just cold water!
4) Some people have all the charm

The last story isn't about me, but one of my friends. I swear, it was one of my friends, and not the one of my friends who had this weird dream but it was really me but I am just too embarrassed that I secretly have a crush on Finn from Glee. Seriously, my friend. Anyways, he comes over to our house last sunday and seems a little off. We come to find out, he's broken his Subway card. Not an accident, he did it out of anger. Why was he angry you ask? well, turns out he was approached by not 1, not 2, but 6, yes SIX prostitutes in one day! And he wasn't even wearing a sign, so remember, sometimes you are just a hooker magnet.

Reality Check

I've been in China now for over three months and sometimes it is very easy to forget that I live in a communist country where the government can rule with an iron fist. For the most part, if you live your life below the radar and away from any touchy issues, living here feels like living in any other capitalist country. There are Mcdonalds, IKEAs, and BMW dealerships. Two stories in the past two days have jarred that reality off its foundation a little. The first was reported on CNN. Many of you may have read that secret "Black Jails" have been uncovered in and around Beijing. These jails were used to house people seeking redress and compensation for "crimes" committed by local government officials where they live. The would turn to the central government as a last option and would get no where for it. From the CNN article ," Once the petitioners file complaints, officials -- worried that they will receive demerits from superiors because of the complaints -- hunt down the petitioners, grab them off the streets and lock them up in rundown hotels, rented houses and nursing homes. Security guards keep petitioners from escaping. " The article goes on to says that high government officials deny the existence of these prisons, but that like everything should probably be taken with a grain of salt. The second story hits a little closer to home. My friend Brian, has a girlfriend Lily, who works for a TV station. Her exact job I am unsure of but she does something with editing scripts. Anyways, I don't know the whole story about this and will post more later, but she showed up to work today and the government had taken control of the station because apparently they had been talking about the government too much in a non-sanctioned way. She'll find out in the coming weeks if she still has a job.

On to more fun stuff, Work! Luckily, I was given Thanksgiving off from work. My boss was super cool about it. So I used my day off to cook as best I could without an oven a Thanksgiving dinner for 7 of my friends. We had stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots, cranberry sauce, gravy, corn, and a few other dishes people brought. For the turkey, I used lunch meat instead of a full bird and it worked out alright. At work, I explained the history and traditions of Thanksgiving to the staff and children. GO MASSACHUSETTS! Oh and one of our Chinese teachers left for another job, it was sad, but we wish her well. So onto what I've learned this week.
1) 22 potatoes, when mashed fill a lot of bowls.
2) Chinese girls are way more honest than American girls
3) Leftover sandwiches for thanksgiving never taste bad, even after the 12th one in 3 days.
4) Reading state fact cards at the age of 7 was a good use of my time.

This last one is in reference to Trivia night. Last night, myself, Amy, Marc, and Brian went to a place called the bookworm. The host trivia every Monday night. This was the first time we went but we plan on going back. Anyways, about halfway through the night, the announcers says, "Bonus question! First one to shout out the answer to the question wins 6 tickets to this movie next week. What was the third to last state to join the Union?" Without any hesitation, I shout out Arizona! (The correct answer, btw) and everyone in the room turns their head in amazement. It feels good to be smart. So remember, being nerdy when younger gets you made fun of, but when you are older, you still get made fun of but at least you can win prizes!

6th Annual Day of Thanks

I'm posting this here, because it'll post to my Facebook as well.
Here it is, the moment you've all waited for. my sixth annual list of thanks to all those who have made my year and my life a better time and place for me.

This List is in no particular order and those i may have forgotten, I am sorry, but i am doing this in one sitting, so i want to thank all those not mentioned below for being my friends, but im going to try and get as many as possible. also i may be thankful for more than the things i list, but i don't want to type until 3 am.

I am thankful for:

Nick, for showing me to start living my life.

Bobby, for two awesome summer trips.

Adler, for coming to China with me.

Nikki P., for a wonderful home for a wonderful year.

Leslie, for late night phone calls at 3am.

Missy, for unconditionally supporting me.

Ashley, for showing me first impressions aren't all they are cracked up to be.

Amy, for balancing faith and reality so gracefully.

Nikki S. and Travis, for showing me true love can wait.

Anne Gardiner, for being the mentor I've always needed.

Bruce Larson, for never giving up on me, even when I might have given up on myself.

The Ruby's Crew, for helping me grow over my 6 wonderful years there.

My Gburg friends, for making the same 6 years worth every penny of debt I'm now in.

Justin, for getting me started on the rest of my life.

Joel and Hannah, for being wonderful roommates and slowly inundating me with britishism.

Rachael and Rosanna, for teaching me the ways of the British woman. (surprisingly different than US)

Cameron, for guy's night and musical outbursts.

Kat, willingly becoming my new ear.

Amy and Marc, for a spectacular Halloween and random nights out.

My FirstLeap Family, for reminding me every day I made the right choice.

Ciara, for carrying on the family legacy of awesome smartassery.

Myles, for always being there no matter what, no matter when.

Aunt Sue, for being quite possibly the best aunt and definitely the best godmother anyone could ask for.

Aunt Jeanine, for family rescues.

Mom, for showing me how to plow through the tough times to enjoy the great ones.

Dad, for a summer of work that I'll cherish

Nana and Papa, for lovingly supporting me even when you might not agree with me.

To all the friends I've have collected over all the year, thank you so much for all the little and big things that have impacted my life. Even if we talk all the time, or very little, you are always in my thoughts.


Thank you and Have a Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!

Lost in Translation

There are many advantages to working in a company that has native Chinese speakers who also speak English. I don't feel left out at work. When I have a problem, I can ask almost anyone for help. I can learn more about the culture. I can make friends easier. However, there is a downside to them being able to speak English that I ran into twice this week. The first one occurred with a new co-worker. We were leaving work and I was talking about needing a hobby in China, because I am bored on my days off. Well, she didn't know the word for hobby. So as I have now become a walking Thesaurus from the mesozoic era, I tried to explain what hobby means in words she knew. I explained to her that a hobby is an activity that you do on a regular basis, either alone or with others, in my case I wanted to do something with others. I gave her a few examples of activities and as we were about to part ways, she says, " oh, I understand, you are looking for a partner." Before I could correct her, the bus arrived. So I may have implied I was looking for a girlfriend or she may now understand what a hobby is. Should be an interesting week. The next one, occurred with another co-worker who has been here for awhile. I was talking with a group of girls (wow, this soooo doesn't sound like how I behave at all of my previous jobs...hint for those who haven't worked with me, the above statement is sarcasm) and this girl asks me, "Which do you prefer, boys or girls?" Now I must say, there was no set up to this question, other than to preface it with, can I ask you a personal question. (Sidenote, if anyone ever asks you, can I ask you a personal question, your response should ALWAYS be yes. Nothing bad ever comes from personal questions, and 9 times out of 10 it's not really that personal. There is that one time, where the police officer asks you where you stuffed the 12 bodies, and you regret saying yes because now you are looking at perjury charges, but that's a story for a different day. ) The question is on its surface a little vague, so I inquired do you mean, do I like to teach boys or girls more? No. Hesitantly, I asked the next obvious follow up, do you mean do I like to date boys or girls? No. Phew. Stumped on possible other implications, I asked for further explanation. She says, " like when you are a parent." WHAT?!?! For all of you that got that from the original question, pat yourself on the back, because in 10 years I wouldn't have guessed that. Now don't get me wrong, I love my co-workers and I don't mind the occasional slip-ups in translations, but I thought I'd mention a few of them to point out that even people speaking the same language don't always understand one another.

At work, this week has been kind of boring. We started planning our Christmas Party so we don't get caught scrambling like Halloween. I am also in charge of training in certain areas over the next month. So like always, another week, another responsibility on the table. This week we've learned

1) Getting friends together for Thanksgiving is a great idea.

2) PS3 is a good investment of my bonus money.

3) Spreadsheets can be helpful for keeping track of peoples' personal life.

4) Chinese kids are sooooo freaking adorable!

Earlier this week, I was coming home from work. As I got in the elevator, a little girl and her dad got in the elevator as well. I soon recognized this girl as a student from our school named Dora, who I have had in a lesson or two. Upon seeing me, she ran over and hugged my leg and nuzzled up next to me. Then looked up at me with quite possibly the cutest face ever. My heart melted. So let it be known, teaching was a good idea.