Cory and Adler (Part Deux)

Whence we last checked in, I was freaking the hell out, talking to and answering questions from an imaginary audience, and trying to figure everything about this china trip out. Since then, I have learned:
#1) Air Canada is CHEAP! I am hoping this is because they love the world and want to make it a better, more carefree pot induced place, eh? and not because they skimp on things like a trained pilot, the ability to maintain cabin pressure at 30,000 feet, and/or fuel. I can fly from Boston to Beijing for less than $400. It cost me that much to drive to Pittsburgh and back. I bought books in college that came close to that price. Needless to say, Canada has done one thing right, since disallowing our manifest destiny of "54'40 or fight". Thank you AP US
#2) Bank of America SUCKS! Why is it when I deposit a check, it can only make a very small amount of said check readily available? Other banks allow you half the money right away. Would this be so hard? NO, but Bank of America is apparently becoming Bank of Jew. Which in turn leads me to point #3
#3) Adler is coming with me to CHINA! My roommate, my second senior year of college (AKA The Victory Lap) has decided and been accepted to join me overseas in this lovely country we call The Middle Kingdom. Take that AP World, I remembered something.

I now am a lot less worried about my trip and experience. Nick and Karen are planning to visit us after the new year, and everything I have heard from everyone (save my dad and nana, who are just terrified) is supportive, encouraging, and wishing they could do it too. However, I will leave you with the conversation that comforts me the most, between myself and my once and future roommate.

All 4 b b (10:31:47 PM): you'll have crazy china sex

All 4 b b (10:31:55 PM): you know one of the spots you want to have sex is on the great wall

All 4 b b (10:32:01 PM): and in the forbidden palace

Charlie813Brown (10:32:10 PM): wow

All 4 b b (10:32:19 PM): that....almost sounded like anal

Charlie813Brown (10:32:32 PM): oh, i thought it was anal

Aaaaand THAT is why I know China will be the time of my life!

The Adventure Begins (Sort of...)

Where to begin??? hmmmm. Oh right! I'm going to China. China you say? Yes, CHINA. The last bastion of communism, which seems like a great fit for someone whose E-mail account up until a few years ago was Stalin813@not providing the rest of this address because I still have the account and don't want you to know about it. A last vestige of my love affair with Command and Conquer: Red Alert. Also, I like having screennames that no one else has so I don't have to change from site to site and you'd be shocked to find that there aren't many people jumping to be associated with the biggest mass murderer in History. Bah, I'll see your 6 Million Jews and raise you 23 Million Russians!

Moving right along so as to not get banned before I get off the ground. You might next ask, Why China then? There are many secondary factors that make me look intelligent, engaged, passionate, and adventurous, but when it all comes down to it, they offered me a job. I didn't have a job. My idea of a match made in heaven. Job? There is someone willing to employ you? Not only employ me, but trust me with their kids! Freaky, I KNOW! The thought of teaching 6 year old children the English language is both frightening and exciting all at once. If only I didn't have a supervisor these kids would be saying, " Monkey shoelace apples ornery tickle bath poopsicles" instead of, " Can I go to the bathroom, please".

But Cory, your writing isn't that great, you ask. I mean, you lived with an Italian who couldn't write, an Asian who never spoke, a Jew who spoke more leet than the master of ceremonies at ComicCon, that couldn't have helped much. Keeping my U.N. living situations out of this, I did date an ex-English major turned fudge packer (no homo), that has to count for something. Plus, if I remember correctly, I took those SAT things or something and they were in English so how hard could this be? I'll just follow the old adage, Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around!

So now that I've quelled your fears about my trip, job, and life direction, could someone return the favor? I have 33 days left until I leave the country, when I've never been west of the Mississippi. I have a passport, arrived today. I need a Visa, not the credit card (got one of those), but the piece of paper that allows me the indoctrinate, i mean, teach the youth of Beijing. Still need to cancel all of my things in the states and most importantly get a plane ticket, but all in all, things are looking up.

I'll leave you with this, while reading this blog, remember these rules and you'll do just fine. If all of the above is an option it's the right option. If none of the above is an option, it's most likely the right option. If one answer is significantly longer than all the others and much more detailed, it's the right answer. A above all else, remember, I am NOT trying to fake you out.