Lost in Translation

There are many advantages to working in a company that has native Chinese speakers who also speak English. I don't feel left out at work. When I have a problem, I can ask almost anyone for help. I can learn more about the culture. I can make friends easier. However, there is a downside to them being able to speak English that I ran into twice this week. The first one occurred with a new co-worker. We were leaving work and I was talking about needing a hobby in China, because I am bored on my days off. Well, she didn't know the word for hobby. So as I have now become a walking Thesaurus from the mesozoic era, I tried to explain what hobby means in words she knew. I explained to her that a hobby is an activity that you do on a regular basis, either alone or with others, in my case I wanted to do something with others. I gave her a few examples of activities and as we were about to part ways, she says, " oh, I understand, you are looking for a partner." Before I could correct her, the bus arrived. So I may have implied I was looking for a girlfriend or she may now understand what a hobby is. Should be an interesting week. The next one, occurred with another co-worker who has been here for awhile. I was talking with a group of girls (wow, this soooo doesn't sound like how I behave at all of my previous jobs...hint for those who haven't worked with me, the above statement is sarcasm) and this girl asks me, "Which do you prefer, boys or girls?" Now I must say, there was no set up to this question, other than to preface it with, can I ask you a personal question. (Sidenote, if anyone ever asks you, can I ask you a personal question, your response should ALWAYS be yes. Nothing bad ever comes from personal questions, and 9 times out of 10 it's not really that personal. There is that one time, where the police officer asks you where you stuffed the 12 bodies, and you regret saying yes because now you are looking at perjury charges, but that's a story for a different day. ) The question is on its surface a little vague, so I inquired do you mean, do I like to teach boys or girls more? No. Hesitantly, I asked the next obvious follow up, do you mean do I like to date boys or girls? No. Phew. Stumped on possible other implications, I asked for further explanation. She says, " like when you are a parent." WHAT?!?! For all of you that got that from the original question, pat yourself on the back, because in 10 years I wouldn't have guessed that. Now don't get me wrong, I love my co-workers and I don't mind the occasional slip-ups in translations, but I thought I'd mention a few of them to point out that even people speaking the same language don't always understand one another.

At work, this week has been kind of boring. We started planning our Christmas Party so we don't get caught scrambling like Halloween. I am also in charge of training in certain areas over the next month. So like always, another week, another responsibility on the table. This week we've learned

1) Getting friends together for Thanksgiving is a great idea.

2) PS3 is a good investment of my bonus money.

3) Spreadsheets can be helpful for keeping track of peoples' personal life.

4) Chinese kids are sooooo freaking adorable!

Earlier this week, I was coming home from work. As I got in the elevator, a little girl and her dad got in the elevator as well. I soon recognized this girl as a student from our school named Dora, who I have had in a lesson or two. Upon seeing me, she ran over and hugged my leg and nuzzled up next to me. Then looked up at me with quite possibly the cutest face ever. My heart melted. So let it be known, teaching was a good idea.

Make it Rain!!!

This is exactly what it is like to live in China, summed up in one story. Two weeks ago, I mentioned that it was snowing on November 1st. A very early snow storm for anyone living where civilization is located, ie Alaska and Minnesota don't count. Well, when it first snowed, I thought, man we are in for a long winter, enjoyed the snow and didn't have another thought about it. That was until I read a news story a few days later. Turns out, the government made it snow, by accident, but still. I will repeat that sentiment for everyone again.... THE GOVERNMENT... MADE... IT SNOW. Let that sink in. I say accidently, because the government didn't intend it to snow, they intended it to rain. So the government was trying to make it rain and missed by one. So first things first, the government makes it rain. Not in the way Pacman Jones does and gets arrested for it. No, they launch canisters of some chemical into the sky using old WWII anti-aircraft guns and the chemicals (the name is escaping me right now and other than my few science friends, none of you will be the wiser if i did say the name) interact with the clouds in such a way that it will rain for a day or two and then be clear skies for the next 3 or 4 days. We have known about this process as the artillery shells have woken us up on many a sunday at 7am. Why they have to make it rain at 7am is beyond me, but it did work as a nice alarm clock for a few weeks. Anyways, on October 31st, the government officials in charge of making it rain (How can I get this job???) decided to get one more rain in before winter. However, they forgot to check with the weather forecast guys who would have told them that there was a cold front moving in the next day. So they made it rain, and because it was cold, we got snow! Because that's what happens when government agencies don't talk to eachother. YAY Bureaucracy!

At school, it has been a slow week. I've spent a lot of time working on my polling situation that will go out later this month. It has been very complicated. Creating a simple poll that can be quickly read to parents before they lose interest but in depth enough to get significant answers. Not to mention translating my questions to Chinese, and the results from Chinese to English. On top of all of this, I am running into bigger and bigger problems with consistency, bias and continuity of the poll so even if my results produce significant results, I won't be that sure how accurate they are. Oh well, one problem at a time. Hopefully my books get here before I need to analyze the data cause I'll be lost without them. Other than that problem, school is rolling along smooth as ever. I'm still not sure if I am moving next month or not, but we'll cross that bridge when it arrives. (Don't worry, still in Beijing, just across town). Onto what I've learned,

1) Payday is the best day of the month

2) The Yankees still suck despite a World Series win, The Red Sox are definitely the Team of the Decade!

3) It seems whether its a Ruby Tuesday in Gettysburg or a pre-school in Beijing, girls just flock around me at work, more research must be done on this.

4) Kids are cruel no matter the continent of upbringing

This last story actually happened to me this morning. While in class I called one student up to board to do a problem. On his way back to sitting down, the boy next to him moved his chair back while he was sitting down. Now, my first reaction was to laugh and give him a high five, but after I supressed my inner 5 year old by distracting him with something shiny, I scolded the student and told him not to do that again. Luckily the fallen boy was okay, but no matter where you are located on the globe, kids are evil... NEVER FORGET THIS!!!

The Nation of Exact Change

China has a weird obsession with exact change. Every time I try and pay for something, I am constantly berated for smaller denominations to round out the change. If the cashier can make the change round to a 5, 10, 20 or the holy grail 50, it seems to make their day. This obsession has gone so far that one bold cashier has reached into my wallet as I was pulling out money to pay and pulled out the change she was asking about that she at that point had realized I didn't understand Chinese. Now this was a complete shock to me and something back home that would have gotten a cashier shot, but being in a new country I have learned to let a few more things slide because of the language and culture differences. However, I don't always want to dig through my wallet for the smaller bills, especially on lazy days so when I hand them 100 quai note for a bill of 23.30 and they look at me with hope in their eyes that I will pull out some smaller bills to supplement, it hurts a little on the inside to see that hope destroyed when I shake my head no after they ask for the change to make an even number.

At School, This week has been weirdly taxing. They pulled the carpet out from underneath us on Wednesday and told us that their are restructuring the school design from what I had thought it was. So after days of arguing with them and realizing I wasn't going to get anywhere, I conceded, got what I could and moved on to other work. This week I wrote a five year overview of topics and objectives for our Global Leadership subject, which basically teaches the kids to express themselves, work together and think critically. I needed to do this in one week because like everything else, I was told last minute. I have now pretty much gotten used to this and just expect to be given last minute projects. I guess it comes with the territory. This week I've learned,

1) I am decidedly close to marriage age and that scares the hell out of me

2) Paying attention to sports from another country is nigh impossible

3) Japanese films are crazy, well at least Infection was crazy

4) Never trust the buses

This last one is in reference to a trip I made last Monday. I went to visit some friends who live in the outskirts of Beijing. I knew the Bus Line to take and stop name they lived at and approximately how long it should take as they had come to visit us using the same method. So I get on the bus, sit down start playing my gameboy and listen for the stop name to be said. After about 45 minutes I realize I've been on the bus awhile and should probably check to see if the stop is next. After hearing the next stop will be (Insert Not the name of my stop) I look to discover I am 4 stops past my stop. How did this happen? Well, come to find out although the stop is called one name, when it is announced on the bus it is called a different name that I was unaware of. So I was listening for the wrong name. I quickly got off the bus, got back on the same line headed the opposite direction and thanked my lucky stars I wasn't further away from my destination. So, remember, along with women, buses are never to be trusted.

Halloween does not have a ' in it

It's November 1st and there is a light powdering of snow covering the city as I look out my window from the comforts of my aptly named comforter. Learning a new language has proved to be a little tricky. It's not a linear process at all. Actually, if I had to graph it, it might look like the integral of a tangent function. (only Nick will get this joke, but it's all schizophrenic!). Somedays, I can understand whole parts of conversations, make simple replies and generally everyone can figure out what is going on. Then the very next day, saying the numbers yi, er, san, si, wu, liu, qi, ba, jiu, shi. is problematic at best and everything seems to be going a mile a minute. Hopefully, as I progress I will have more of the first peaks and less of the second.

At school, we finally had our Halloween Party. It ranged from a success to disaster and everything in between. However, I think taking it with a grain of salt that this is my first party organized for little kids, everyone seemed to have fun and I didn't see many if any crying kids, always the sign of success in my book. We had for activities, face painting, apple bobbing, witches hats and pumpkins masks. Along with some movies playing to distract the kids when they got bored. Although we ran out of supplies before the end of the night, there wasn't a massive kid rrevolt demanding more so we were saved. For pictures, look at my facebook. This leads well into things I have learned for the week:
1) Having a plan for 100+ kids is like telling a fat kid to leave his birthday cake alone til his friends arrive. Turn your back for one second and everything comes apart.
2) I have a really loud voice and even when half the people in the room don't speak english, When I yell, heads turn.
3) Bon Jovi songs are excellent for Karaoke
4) I now know what it is like to be a rockstar.

No, I didn't play the game. This Halloween, with the help of a friend, I rented a security guards uniform from my building. 20 yuan($3) and I became the hit of the party. I swear, everyone wanted to take a picture with me. The mall security guards got a kick out of me and taught me how to salute properly in China. Everyone wanted a piece of me it seemed, not in a seedy backstage kind of way, but in a come over here with me kind of way. It was a lot of fun although I am worn out. So just remember, Cory+Security Guard Uniform(or as I was later informed, any uniform) = ROCKSTAR!!!

Tour de Beijing

While in China, my brain has been very confused. Not the normal type of confused, like how CSI hasn't run out of crimes to solve or what bone is connected to the leg bone. No, my brain doesn't know what language to speak. In about 7th grade, it started to learn that if it didn't here English being spoken, it should turn to its french quarter, conveniently located in New Orleans or the Humor House and start speaking or translating to french. Because of this, I have often found myself wanting or actually responding to Chinese questions in French out of sheer habit. The good news is, I haven't forgotten as much French as I thought I had. The bad news, no one understands me, not even other English speakers.
Traveling around China, there are 5 modes of transportation available to me; Walk, Bike, Taxi, Bus, Subway. Walking and biking are for fairly local endeavors like going to the supermarket or work, but if you want to get most places fun, public transportation is your only option. Each option has increasing amounts of English with decreasing amounts of utility. The taxis can go anywhere at anytime, but speak little to no English and you better know your address in Chinese or you aren't going anywhere fast. Buses, go most places, but only run until 10pm. The bus stops are labeled in Pinyin on the buses but not on the stops, so if you aren't sure about a bus stop, it can quickly become a guessing game. Also, because there are sooooooo many bus stops and bus lines, it is not something to use without first looking it up online. Which brings me to the greatest website that sounds like a porn website but isn't. BJBUS.COM. Seriously, that is how you check buslines online. When Brian told me this at first, I thought he was just messing with me, but it's real. Finally, there is the Subway. Very English friendly, but doesn't go many places besides the popular locations and often you need to use a bus or taxi to get to the nearest location.

Work has been going by quicker and quicker these days. Everything has fallen into place and the routine becomes more and more second nature. I am now in charge of the Global Leadership curriculum for the school, which is great for my ever expanding resume. Also, I have been put in charge of our school's Halloween party, which should be fun, leading me to what I've learned.
1) Being from America makes you an expert on all things American even if you know little to nothing about said topic
2) It's a real good thing Germany and USSR didn't stay allied in WWII... All I have to say is PAN EURASIAN EMPIRE
3) I feel special being white here, and coincidentally, angry when I see other white people stealing my thunder
4) Doing things that could be construed as social taboos is the only way to live

The last comment, is in reference to my Halloween costume idea. I haven't made it official yet but I am hoping to dress up like a Chinese Security Guard for Halloween. They are basically like psuedo military here. I am hoping to rent a uniform from our door man with the help of some Chinese friends. Let's just say, this will either be a really good costume or one where I'm spending 5-10 years behind bars. But just remember, pushing the envelope is the only way it'll move.

Live Action Video Games

China is considered by many to be the land where you can get anything you could possibly want in the material realm. Even those things banned by the government can be had for a price and knowing who to talk to. There are large market areas geared towards westerners that sell literally everything under the sun in the consumer world. The one I've been to so far is called The silk market and even though it has its fair share of silks, it has so much more. It is truly a site to behold. Hundreds of Chinese employees speaking fairly good English all shouting at you to come into their shops to buy their products. This is in sharp contrast to shopping most other places in China where very few if any employees speak English and what they do speak is very very limited. Think back to your first month of learning a foreign language and that is the amount of English you are getting on a day to day basis from people. However, in the silk market, everyone speaks English to lure you into a false sense of security. Make no bones about it, they are trying to get as much money from you for as little in return. In contrast, you are trying to get the most for as little money. It's capitalism in its purest form. However, that isn't the most fun that can be had with human interaction in China. The true game of China is Frogger! Walking anywhere in Beijing requires you to cross streets and a cross walk is not always convenient or close so J-walking becomes the thing to do. Back home, in most places J-walking is a pretty tame activity. Maybe one or two lanes and a few cars that will slow down if you don't make it across in time. NOT IN CHINA. Here the average lanes to cross is no fewer than 4, usually 6 or 8 is very common and cars don't slow down and hardly ever switch lanes. If you are timid and wait until their is little traffic that can be a 5-10 minute wait in some cases which is no fun. So you are left with the option of crossing the road frogger style, one lane at a time and standing in the middle of lanes waiting for cars to pass. At first, it is a bit daunting, but I can officially say I am a frogger king now.

School has been very interesting this past week. Because of the national holiday, our schedules have been in flux so much that we still aren't back to our normal cycles and I have spent a few days in the office without Brian, Joel, or Hannah. Making me the only one in the office at times that doesn't speak Chinese. However, we also had reduced personnel over this period so I did get to spend some time getting to know members of the Chinese staff and that was very cool. Also with work, I have been working on improving their business model in recruiting kids for the school and that work has started to pay off and my boss has been very receptive to my work. They have been very open to new ideas and we definitely feel like a part of the team. What we have learned this week:
1) Dating procedures in England just require you to get really drunk and hook up a few times and that is pretty much the only way to get a girl there. Teetotalers need not apply!
2) Bank of America staff is more than useless
3) Beer with less alcohol content but more volume does the same trick.
4) I should have brought my STATA companion book with me and not the Ben Franklin Bio.

As it turns out, the one book that would have been super helpful in China, was a book I never thought I'd use again. Or at the very least, for a very long time. STATA is a statistical package program for the computer that helps in data analysis. It's a program that is like excel supercharged. Anyways, I have been using this program to help analyze the company's approach to bringing in new students with some fairly good results. However, I don't remember how to use all the aspects of the program even though I learned it 6 months ago, because I haven't been using it during that time. So remember, when traveling to far away places, bring things you might not need, but would hate to be without.

60 years is a good start, but its no 233!

Sorry for the lapse in posting. It's been about three weeks since my last entry and so much has happened I'll try to fit it all in. First things first. Today is National Day in China. It is the anniversary of communist rule in China. Today was extra special because it was the 60th anniversary and man-kind's unnatural affinity for numbers ending in zero can not be curbed. So in the spirit of celebrating, the country has been on very high alert for seemingly as long as we have been here and probably before hand. As a consequence of this heightened sense of security, things have been a bit touch a go for everyone, especially us foreigners. We all had a considerably harder time getting visas before we got into the country. Once in the country, our registration and setting up of bank accounts has all be very touch and go because the country wanted absolutely nothing to go wrong with this celebration and obviously it was going to be foreigners who were gonna screw it up. Hopefully, now that this day is over, things can go back to some form of normal less heightened state of national awareness and we won't be warned not to travel. As for the day, The Chinese government planned an orchestrated a show that put the Olympic opening ceremonies to shame. The event was mostly held as Tienanmen Square, site of the infamous 1989 student uprisings and why the government was not messing around with this event. In order to get into to Tienanmen for this event, you needed a government invite, and because I don't know anyone with those sort of connections(YET), I watched on a big screen out side my local mall. The event featured 300,000 people and 60 floats on top of countless fireworks displays across the city skyline at night. The entire thing took all day and was a new level of pomp and circumstance that would make Sir Edward Elger piss himself. It is truly fascinating to be here and experience a country emerge onto the world scene and still struggle with so much history.

As for my life, the reason I have been delinquent on posting is because this holiday has thrown our work schedules for a loop. We worked two weeks straight at FirstLeap in order to have eight days off for holiday. This is something most places apparently do, at least schools in order that the break isn't broken up, you work part of the weekend before and after the holiday in order to have a longer holiday in the middle. It makes so little sense that I can hardly understand it, never mind explain it, but suffice to say, I worked alot to get a longer continual break. School has been going great, I am getting more comfortable with the staff and curriculum and have started to increase my contributions to the school. I have actually been using my data analysis background from my political science to degree to help them become a more efficient company as a whole. It's always surprising when you use the things you know. Away from work, we have spent some nights hanging with friends and enjoying the nightlife as we also try to find new ways to navigate the city. Things I've learned on these adventures include,
1) Never get into an unofficial taxi cab
2) Sometimes nice restaurants are hidden down dark, scary, mugging-inducing alleys
3) Never hand a Taxi driver a 100 Yuan bill, you will get fake money back.
4) When you want to go home at night, you should make it known, otherwise bad things can happen.

This last one occurred last week, while out with my flatmates Joel and Hannah and our friend and co-worker Rachelle. She had had a rather tough week, and is English, meaning her drinking consumption for the evening would put most American girls her size in a coma. So off we were to the bars. We found a really nice bar that I have been back to since called Nanjie Bar with a terrace over looking the street. After spending a better part of the night there drinking, more like being fed drinks after I said I didn't want to drink anymore, because we had work the next day. As a side note, I now know what it is like to be a girl at a bar and have your drinks paid for you and its not bad, I can see the appeal, but back to the story. At 1 o'clock, Joel, Hannah and myself had all expressed interest in going home but not in a forceful enough manner, so two bars later and 2.5 hours later, we finally made our way home, severely drunk or pissed as my English friends would say. On the way home however, while in the taxi, I was on the unfortunate end of Rachelle's reversal of fortune to neither mine or the taxi driver's delight. So when you want to go home, say so forcibly because it's probably the right choice.